


Only Love Can Hurt Like This

by Rinoa11



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cats, Daisuga Week 2015, M/M, Reincarnation, ailens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 22:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5351147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinoa11/pseuds/Rinoa11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daichi has been with Suga through countless lifetimes. He remembers, he hopes, he waits and he watches. These are his recollections.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only Love Can Hurt Like This

**Author's Note:**

> There are mentions of death in this. If you are uncomfortable with this then this is not the fic for you. Thank you!

I cannot count the number of times I’ve watched you die. This time we are both gods and I had no choice to destroy you. It was not long before I myself was destroyed by the weight of the task even though you begged me to do so. “I’m in pain Daichi” you cried, “Let me go”. I’ve done that so many times. Let you go, let you die, let you walk away from me when all I wanted to do was lock you away selfishly and protect you from all that would harm you. But that wouldn’t be right. I couldn’t do that to you when you deserve nothing more than to run free.

In some lifetimes you cannot run free, you are enslaved. Chained up in body but not in spirit. You have always fought back. Sometimes I am enslaved with you and we have no control of our lives but I see the fire in your eyes. It is always there, always quietly burning even if some days you do not feel it. I feel it.

You always carried yourself with dignity and grace. I remember watching you from a crowd, I was a soldier, dressed in dark cybernetic armour and you were a king of an alien nation, in colourful ceremonial robes with tattoos on your face. We were about to go to war and you gave a gently rousing speech as your wife stood proudly at your side with children in tow. I was proud of you. I’m always proud of you. You roused cheers from the crowd like no other could, everyone standing there would have gladly died for you. I knew that I would. I always would.

Sometimes you remember me, those lifetimes are the sweetest. The way your eyes sparkle with recognition and your smile warms and melts me right to my core. “It feels like I’ve come home” you said before kissing me sweetly and holding me in your generous embrace. You would tumble into my life and into my bed, laughter ringing out across the room followed by countless more kisses. Your kisses are always the softest and the sweetest. I can never get enough. You are always the home I wish to come home to. The one who I feel most at ease with in the world. My other half.

But if you should forget (and you often do) it doesn’t matter. I will remember enough for the both of us. Our shapes and appearances may change a little or a lot. (You always have that mole under your eye though.) I will still pick you out from a crowd. I will still fight your corner. I will still do my best to be with you if you wish it and if you don’t, it is alright, there’s always next lifetime.

Currently, I am a cat. A big dark tomcat. I was a stray. I was hungry and alone until you decided to take me home from the pet shelter that had extracted me so rudely from the streets. I will always cherish the way you looked down at me with your warm smile and held me so carefully in your arms. I was secure, loved, welcomed.

In this lifetime I have the liberty to watch you sleep, to demand to be spoiled to make up for all the lifetimes you could not. I get to spoil you in return with my love and affection. I curl around your legs and sit on your lap to show you I care. I sit on your laptop to stop you from working when you are too stressed. I yowl loudly to demand to be fed to remind you when you should feed yourself. You work a stressful job in publishing, constantly hunched over copy. I have watched you cry and scream over your writing, over people who have come and gone from your life. I will be here for you though, reminding you that I love you through a soft purr and a nudge. I may not be able to kiss away your tears as I should like but I will do my best to make sure you feel loved. I hope you feel loved. You deserve it most of all.

In this lifetime I will leave first, that’s the nature of being a cat. We don’t live as long as humans do. But I hope to be reborn in a life where you remember me. I always hope for that. I always hope for your happiness, even if I don’t see you, if I didn’t I would surely be overcome by the curse of my memory. Remembering is tough, loving you is tough, but it is always worth it. Koushi Sugawara, no matter how many lifetimes pass, no matter how many times you crumble and fall, even if we are enemies, even if I have to tear you and myself to pieces, I will always love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my wee ficlet! I really love the concept of reincarnation as a storytelling device and I hope you enjoyed my use of it here! (Even if it is undoubtedly cheesy!) Who knows, maybe it'll turn up again in another fic?
> 
> I hope you have a good day and I would be open to any comments and crit that you may have.


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